My head falls onto the desk once more with a can of ‘energy’ In my hand, communicating on any form of social media is off the list, and friends are unaware I’m still living on planet earth. This is my withdrawing time, the time where I forget that I’m a human being, living with other humans. I forget that I need to nip what’s making me unhappy in the bud, instead of just pushing it to the back of the line hoping it won’t come back to haunt me any time soon. And the time where I don’t allow myself to feel happiness. Like most people, I feel pure and utter guilt whenever I come near to feeling any slight bit of happiness. It’s like a germ coming towards me and I’m using every bone in my body, every cell in my brain and every effort to fight it off. I’m fighting happiness off, because I’m scared of what will happen if I feel it for to long. Although I’m not a professional In anyway and I don’t mean to be (I would fail with all of the leadership duties!) I thought I would put together five tips to help your mind, and body allow happiness into your life – without feeling guilty! Let me know down below if any of these work for you, and if you have any tips yourself! I’m always up for new strategies.
1 – Don’t run, but walk.
Our mind and body goes through hundreds of emotions every day, maybe you’ve felt sadness come into the equation ten times in the span of ten minutes. Or, you’ve felt happiness, sadness, anger, frustration and a whole load of emotions at once. Whatever it may be, feeling emotions can be scary. And when you’re scared you tend to run. Run as fast as you can to escape whatever is hurting you. But sometimes when you’re running, your mind cannot cope. The constant confusion as to what path you’re going to take next and not knowing why these emotions are troubling you can leave you breathless, scared, fed up and down. However, running doesn’t always have to be the option. When we have a different and unusual scenic view, we don’t run away from it. We pause for a moment, and encounter what is around us. We walk through, even though we’re unaware of what lies ahead. You can do this with your emotions, you can walk through them, understand them and show them that they’re not going to beat you this time. You’re not going to end the day exhausted by every thought that you’ve discovered.
2 – They’re a small boat, in your big world.
Sometimes in life we meet people who make everything seem happy. They make your darkest days clearer, your long nights shorter and your dreams awakened. But that happiness doesn’t always last. Eventually we find ourselves battling the urge to stay happy, and not let their lives affects ours. That happiness you once felt with them in your life, is gone. And it’s heartbreaking, so heartbreaking that you spend nearly every hour wondering where it all went wrong, where you messed up, where the chapter was put to rest and where times changed. They seemed like your whole life, and now your life is slowly falling apart. But listen, they’re not you’re whole life, because your whole life is you. Your whole life is every breath you take, every smile you have and every choice you make. And in order to achieve this ‘life’, we need to ungrasp our hand and let them go. Maybe not forever, and maybe not to far but allowing them and yourself to live your own lives instead of each others is important. Their emotions aren’t yours, their battles aren’t yours to fight and their lives aren’t yours to manage. – But, that doesn’t mean you can’t help, and be there. Just make sure you’re putting you first!
3 – Prioritise yourself!
This is one thing I struggle with. Realising that I’m the one dealing with the impacts of always putting my health, and mindset to the bottom of the pile. Just so everyone else’s situations can be thrown on top of mine. Sometimes we need to stop.. stop and allow ourselves to be taken care of. Allow our minds to be free from any stresses that life has thrown our way. Find one day, or more if you can.. and prioritise yourself. Run a bubbly bath, apply that face mask you brought on a Saturday night splurge. Even make yourself a hot cup of tea! Whatever it may be you do to feel prioritised, do it and remember it’s ok to do this. It’s ok to take control, and make yourself stronger for any upcoming battles that may lie ahead.
4 – Allow yourself to talk!
Allowing people to hear your challenges, battles and past experiences can make them easier to understand yourself. Opening up can feel like the biggest hurdle to over come for anyone who has been let down, hurt or abandoned in their lifetime. However, not everyone Is going to run. Not everyone is going to put you down for the emotions you feel. If you don’t have friends or family around to listen, there’s other ears wanting to hear your stories. Counsellors, therapists, doctors, teachers.. and so many more. They don’t want you to make your story end another chapter, just because you feel no-one is reading. Don’t let your body take on every battle on it’s own, no-one can do it forever. There eventually comes a time when your walls will slowly begin to come down, your stories will begin to be told and your mind will begin to feel clearer. A writer can’t hold their ideas in their mind forever, eventually they have to get them out into the open. Even if you don’t want to talk, write a diary, a song or a poem. Allow those thoughts to be anywhere except your mind. It’s ok to be free of them, I promise!
5 – You’ve come this far, why stop now?
You’ve already made one of the biggest accomplishments to date. You’ve survived another day, another war and another bag full of emotions. You’ve got through the days that you said you couldn’t, you have made friends, lost friends… created memories, and seen memories fade. You’ve reached the point of no return, but came through stronger than ever and you’ve kept fighting. I understand, ok? I know what breakdowns feel like, I know what nights have in store, with their darkening Skys and frightening tales. I know what getting through another day, despite having no sleep and little happiness for the hours ahead feels like. And, I know what standing on the edge of the surface, with no friends around you, holding onto nothing but your own strength ready to let life win… feels like. I know ok? and although life will continue to make the journeys ahead as tough and heart wrenching as possible. You have the power, ambition and drive to get through yet another day. I have hope in you.
You’re not your thoughts, and your thoughts will never be as bold, inspiring and strong as you are. I promise…